Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
