You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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