We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize