Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
