matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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