so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
