I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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