God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Found the puke drawer
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
