take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
