she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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