did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
