I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
