did you get engaged???
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
