what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
