I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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