Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
