"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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