so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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