he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
