The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
