Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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