so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
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