i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
