i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
