it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
