evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
