your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Success! We fucked roommates!
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
