Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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