Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
my poor anus
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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