it's like iHOP with fire
She's the barista slut.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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