You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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