I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
