Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
