just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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