My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
