Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
