Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
