Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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