I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
