I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
