he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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