Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Too much gin, very little bucket
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
