I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
