I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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