She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
