need another drink. this is the easiest way
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
