I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
It was confusing and full of hummus
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
