He is such a slut. More and more my type.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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