You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
