This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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