Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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