brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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