He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
