Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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