i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Swine flu is the new snow day.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Two words: blizzard sex
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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