You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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