I think im going to throw up on grandma
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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