so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
