...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize