The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
