I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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