Dual....:-)
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
