He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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