just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
