Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
There's even glitter on my cock...
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