Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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