bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
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