OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
