hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
