im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I would ride that face into the sunset
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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