let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
