We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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