I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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