Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
